The Most Important Lessons
SELF ESTEEM
18 ways to help children like themselves
SELF ESTEEM
18 ways to help children like themselves
- Show how much you care about them. Hug them. Tell them they are terrific and that you love them.
- Show them that what they do is important to you. Talk with them about their activities and interests.
Go to their games, parent's day at school, drama presentations, awards ceremonies, etc.
- Spend time together. Share favorite activities. Have fun together.
- "Catch them" being good and reward them. Give praise, recognition, a special privilege or increased responsibility for a job well done. Emphasize the good things they do, not the bad.
- Take their ideas, emotions, and feelings seriously. Don't belittle them by saying "You'll grow out of it" or "It's not as bad as you think."
- Be available. Give support when children need it.
- Show how much you care about them. Hug them. Tell them they are terrific and that you love them.
- Be a good role model. Let your children know that you feel good about yourself. Also let them see that you, too, can make mistakes and learn from them.
- Express your values, but have the honesty to go beyond "Do this" or "I want you to do that." Describe the experiences that determined your values, the decisions you made to accept certain beliefs, the reasons behind your feelings.
- Define limits and rules clearly, and enforce them. But within these limits do allow leeway for your children to be children.
- Develop the habit of consistently using phrases that build self esteem, such as "Thank you for helping" or "That was an excellent idea!" Avoid phrases that hurt self esteem, such as "Why are you so stupid?" and "How many times have I told you?"
- Show how much you care about them. Hug them. Tell them they are terrific and that you love them.
- Discuss problems without placing blame or commenting on a child's character. Like all of us, if children know that there is a problem but don't feel personally attacked, they are more likely to help look for a solution.
- Have reasonable expectations for your children. Help them learn to set realistic and reachable goals so they can regularly achieve success.
- Give your children responsibility. They will feel useful, and valued. Asking nothing of them implies that you think they are not capable of doing a job well, which is demeaning.
- Teach your children how to deal competently with time and money. Help them learn how to spend their time wisely and budget their money carefully.
- Help your children develop tolerance toward those with different values, backgrounds and values.
Point out other people's strengths, not their differences.
- Show how much you care about them. Hug them. Tell them they are terrific and that you love them.
