Crises of self-esteem are a normal part of the human experience.

When you feel that you are troubled by low self-esteem, review the suggestions below.
Then choose one or two that seem to be the most relevant to your situation and work on them.

1. Free yourself from your "should've"s. Begin to live your life on the basis of what is possible for you and what feels right to you instead of what you or others think you "should" do and you "should’ve" done. "Should've"s distract us from identifying and fulfilling our own needs, abilities, interests, and personal goals. Find out what you want and what you are good at, value those things, and take actions designed to fulfill your potential.
   
   
2. Respect your own needs. Recognize and take care of your own needs and wants first. Identify what really fulfills you -- not just what might bring you immediate gratification. Contrary to our deeply ingrained belief that this is selfish and unworthy of us, respecting your deeper needs will increase your sense of worth and well-being.
   
   
3. Set achievable goals. (Such an easy thing to say, and so hard to do! ) Establish goals on the basis of what you can realistically hope to achieve, and then work step-by-step developing your potential. To strive always for perfectionistic, absolute goals (for example, "Anything less than an A in school is always unacceptable") inevitably will invite stress and failure.
   
   
4. Learn to talk to yourself positively. Stop listening to your most cruel "inner critic". When you notice that you are doubting or judging yourself, replace such thoughts with loving, forgiving, self-accepting thoughts, with self-supportive direction, and with balanced self-assessment. Speak to yourself as you would to a dear friend who needed advice and comfort!.
   
   
5. Develop the habit of testing your reality. Learn to separate your emotional reactions – all your habitual fears and bad feelings -- from the reality of your current situation. For example, you may be feeling anxious and hopeless about a project that is facing you and appears to be impossible, but if you think about it rationally, you may still have the ability and opportunity to accomplish something and benefit from the experience, even if it is only the knowledge that in the future you have to plan your time better!
   
   
6. Create opportunities which will enable you to experience success. Seek out and put yourself in situations in which the probability of your being successful is high. Look for projects which challenge, which stretch -- but do not overwhelm -- your abilities. Develop the habit of "imagining" yourself succeeding. Whatever you do accomplish, let yourself acknowledge and good feelings about it. Give yourself permission to feel proud of your accomplishments, and when you are deserving allow yourself the freedom to feel successful.
   
   
7. Be willing to take chances. All new experiences are potential learning experiences which may help build self-confidence. Expect to make mistakes as part of the learning process. Don't be disappointed if you do not master a new task immediately. Don’t be disappointed if you don't do it perfectly right from the start. The toddler falls and falls because he has the courage to try, and try, and try again to get up and walk. Feel good about the fact that you had the courage to try something new, you had the courage to step forth and try to make progress and increase your competence in an area previously uncharted by you. Taking a chance takes real courage.
   
   
8. Accept the fact that you have problems in your life. Don't try to constantly avoid your problems, but also don't spend all your time moping over them. Try to identify them, face them, and then find ways either to solve them or cope with living with them. If necessary, seek professional help or the help of loved ones. But remember, if you continually run away from problems you can solve, you seriously threaten your self-confidence.
   
   
9. Get in the habit of making decisions. It is a scary concept at first, but you can do it! Work at practicing making and implementing positive decisions flexibly but firmly, and trust yourself to deal with the consequences. When you assert yourself, you enhance your sense of self, you learn more about yourself, and you increase your self-confidence.
   
   
10. Take the time to sit down and analyze your skills. (You may do this alone but most effectively with a friend or with professional help). Know what you can and can't do. Develop those many skills you already possess. Then further assess the skills you need to get what you want in life and begin the process of learning and practicing those.
    
    
11. Emphasize your strengths. Focus on what you can do, rather than what you cannot. Accept your current limitations and learn to live comfortably within them, even as you consider what strengths you might want or need to develop next.
    
    
12. Learn to rely on your own opinion of yourself. It is good to entertain feedback from others, but don't become totally dependent on their opinions. Trust in your own values when making decisions and deciding how you feel about yourself and what is right for you to do. No one, but no one, knows you as well as you do.